Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Poet Warrior and Other Tales of the Post-Collegiate Aftermath

You may remember my earlier summary of life in the post-collegiate aftermath. As the summer chugs on, the answers you have to start giving people become increasingly more ludicrous. I'm trying to think of more creative ways of answering the question: "So, what are your plans now?":

1. "Oh, I'm training to become a poet warrior. We start two-a-days next week. I can't wait for things to really get rolling." (This would be followed by a brief explanation of how I'm learning to write treatises blindfolded and committing things like iambic pentameter and rhyming schemes to memory before the enemy, Falsity, gets to them and destroys our quest for Truth)

Effectiveness: Might intrigue some people, most will nod politely and never ask anyone the question again.

2. "My plans? I just want to make a lot of money and be perceived as successful while my soul slowly decays beneath my tanned, playboy exterior."

Effectiveness: A surprising number of people might nod with approval. The rest will be horrified at the bluntness and plausibility!

3. "I'll be doing some open-mics in the city for a while."

Effectiveness: Most will outwardly project a "go-get-em!" attitude, but will shake their heads as soon as I leave and say something like, "Good thing I'm smarter than him!" But I might hear that and shout, "Hey! I heard that!" and they'll be like "Yeah."

4. "I'm going to bum around Europe. Forever."

Effectiveness: Believable. Not very interesting.

5. "I'm not at liberty to comment on an ongoing job search."

Effectiveness: They'll think I'm working for the United States government.

6. "Jobs? Where we're going, we won't need 'jobs!'"

Effectiveness: Intrepid, forward-looking, a good blend of ambiguity and purpose. Not bad for lifting it off the previous post's title reference to Back to the Future: Part II