Friday, December 30, 2005

"If you're not doing anything later, maybe you could give me a hand with this..."

Hey Jude and the Lone Dissenter

The Beatles' "Hey Jude" is an instantly recognizable classic. I have a hard time thinking of anyone that truly hates the song. St. Jude gets incredibly good press as the patron saint for hopeless cases and desperate times, while English football fans get a great song to sing along with during games. This song apparently has a colorful history, though.

During a routine Wikipedia stop, my mouse cursor took an inadvertent run at the "Random article" link as my finger simultaneously clicked. While I muttered an explicative under my breath for not having proper motor coordination, I was instantly intrigued by the random "Hey Jude" article that now presented itself to me.

As I was reading, one bit of trivia jumped out and made my eyebrows do one of those "oh!" perks:
"George Martin arranged for the 36-piece orchestral accompaniment that would later be edited into the recording. The Beatles asked the orchestra members if they would mind clapping their hands and singing along to the refrain in the song's coda. Most complied, but one obstinately replied, "I'm not going to clap my hands and sing Paul McCartney's bloody song!" and stormed out of the studio."

Who IS this guy?! He must have had some serious reservations about clapping and singing for cash. And Paul. I wonder what became of this lone dissenter. Was he endlessly ribbed and chastised by the other 35 pieces in that orchestral accompaniment the next day at rehearsal? "Oh man, Lawrence, you TOTALLY missed out on the end of that song! Paul was going James Brown on us with vocal improv! Man, glad I stayed! I'll be damned if I didn't see Ringo wink at me!"

Was he unwilling to sacrifice his professional integrity for just a few minutes? What could this guy be doing right now and what else could he be obstinately refusing? My conclusion is that this must be in his nature. He obstanitely refuses everything good in this world and embraces evil. He is a dark nexus of cold-hearted obstinance amid good English cheer. Apple pie? Obstinate refusal. Flowers? Obstinate unwillingness to smell them. World peace? Hearty endorsement for the continuation of violence on a global scale. Great feel-good movie? Storms out.

I really need to stop listening to this song now before madness drives me to do something crazy like clean my room.

Wherever you are, Lone Dissenter, don't let it get under your skin.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


I got one of these today! I don't even know what happened. I was just trying to check my email, when my computer suddenly had a FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR. This has to be just about the worst thing that can happen to a computer short of the Blue Screen of Death. At least with that, you can just pull the plug on the whole computer. But the FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR is a more cerebral problem, more akin to problem solvers and quick thinkers. This is what I told myself, at least.

Let's just look at this. Break it down. Clearly, this problem is going to cost someone or something his or her or its life. It's fatal. However, it's not a common occurance. It's an exception. That should put things in perspective a little bit. "Hey! What can we do? This sort of thing doesn't happen very often anyways!" But the joy is temporary--this is something that has gone wrong--an ERROR! So there we have it: a rare life-ending disaster. All because of your computer.

So I did what any cerebal problem solver would do and promptly clicked the mouse somewhere over the "OK" button. What else are you supposed to click? "I'll think about it" isn't an option in this do or die situation. After clicking OK I was greeted by another set of options to correct the problem. "ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?"

I like options. I really do. I just don't like these particular options. Aborting a computer problem is for quitters. Retry? No! I'm not going to make this problem happen again! Failure is not an option.

Ten minutes later I returned to my room to look at the computer. It's black screen stared right back at me, lifeless since I pulled the plug on it moments before. Machines will never conquer mankind as long as there's a plug to pull. At least, that's what I told myself.


"You think we need one more? You think we need one more. We'll get one more."

-Danny Ocean, Oceans Eleven

Caught on the Bound has hired a new hackjob. He'll probably start within the next two days. If he even shows up.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Playing Favorites

From the very first moment of this site's existence, I knew that I would inevitably have to comment on Facebook. As it turns out, this commentary will make its appearance after a whopping FIVE posts.

In general, I can't say I disapprove of the whole thing. It facilitates social interaction (from behind a computer screen), lets people share their most heartfelt* interests (from behind a computer screen...actually, it's at least 2 screens isn't it?), and I'm sure, on some level, contributes to world peace (and stalking/kidnapping). The sharp eyes out there will note my asterisk on "heartfelt."

I'm really beginning to question the need for "favorite movies" or favorite books" on this thing anymore. As I browse the pages, I find one guy who claims no less than 83 movies to be his "favorites," all of them including the year, just in case I forgot that the Wizard of Oz precedes The Godfather by some three decades.

My own brother lists innumerable bands (ok, well, somewhere in the 40s) bands as his favorites. Another guy lists The Beatles twice on his list of 61 favorite bands.

College football routinely crowns two national champions.

College applicants often have three or more "top choices."

Rolling Stone has ranked the top FIVE HUNDRED songs!

FHM ranks the 100 Sexiest Women of 200X every year!

I'm really not a cynical, bitter, or jaded person. I just think we could all stand to narrow our preferences a little bit when it comes to declaring favorites. What do you do when a kid says his favorite ice cream flavors are vanilla and chocolate? You tell him to make up his mind! It's going to be alright. And I'm really not a cynical or jaded person. I was just offering my 78 cents.

Monday, December 12, 2005