Press Conference - August 4, 2006

Today's press conference is brought to you by the diphthong "ou." Putting the "ow" in "house" since the time of Middle English when it was "hous."

Fire torpedoes!

"Did you have to look up the spelling of the word 'diphthong?'"

Yes. Next question, over there please.

"Did Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul actually leave that message in the CotB guestbook?"

We have no way of confirming whether or not it's actually him, but there is an established precedent. Back in January, a Business 2.0 writer logged a private guestbook entry to me clarifying the publisher of their 100 Dumbest Moments in Business (or something like that), which appeared on CNN Money. Michelle Kwan has yet to contact us about her frequent mentions on the site. OK, you with the stylish hat back there.

"Hi there. It seems that a lot of the posts on the site are randomly selected pop culture items. Is there a reason the site skews in this direction?"

Not at all. By the way, I'd like to take this time to remind you that Duncan now offers the ProYo. The rim-weighted, take-apart ProYo features a patented replaceable wooden axle sleeve and interchangeable graphic sidecaps for maximum performance and enjoyability. Remember, if it's not a Duncan, it's not a yo-yo.

"Right...when you come out of that trance look you're giving us right now, can you shed some light on why we even have these press conferences?"

No, but I can barn some dark on it. The real question is why any of you bother to come to them. Yes, the gentleman in the skirt back there.

"Woman. My question: where's Simon?"

He's in Boise, Idaho for an internship.

"No, I mean, where is he on the site?"

Here, there, and everywhere I should think. Hurry! We have so much time and so little to do! Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. *whistles for the Oompa-Loompas*