Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Nintendo: Always and Forever

See, that's just the problem isn't it? She's ALWAYS in another castle. Can't these Mushpeople get some informants? I like how this Mushperson's (Toad's?) face is fixed in a state of pixelated wonder as he ponders the dark void that had veiled him while you danced on the bridge dodging flying fireballs. His outstretched arms don't even make it past his head. "The euphoria stops here!" Mario's probably thinking "I'm shorter than TOAD." Little does Toad know that he will be recaptured eight more times and forced to endure the horrific imprisonment with nothing but vague anti-directional floating text to look forward to.

Mega Man. The one that started it all. Check out the box art. I assume this guy is supposed to be Mega Man, but he looks more like a drunken cosmonaut stumbling out of some Aztec/Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds fuzz world. No worries, though. We know this product is "State of the Art" and has "High Resolution Graphics," with a funky neon red "Grid of Tomorrow" behind the picture to sway any naysayers.