Guestbook Controversy Swirls; House Rules in Effect

One "Elizabeth" has recently suggested in her guestbook signing that I am the signee behind the first signature. This is a lie. I refuse to sign my own guestbook. To even suggest that possibility is flirting with libel! The scandal! The horror! The character assassination! It would be like walking into my own house and asking myself if I should take my shoes off.

Speaking of which, did you ever notice or pay close attention to the little rules and eccentricities people have about their homes? Some people demand that your shoes come off before even setting foot in the house. This one I can understand. The Japanese caught on to that waaaay back. Carpets deserve to be spared the wear and tear of rubber-soled horror.

Customs vary about being a guest in someone's house. When asked about this topic, I learned of some interesting opinions. Several people I know would find it perfectly normal for a person to help themselves to a glass of milk without asking in someone's house, including clattering through the cabinets to find a glass. Others said this was barbaric and bordering on glassware anarchy (I don't really know what that would be like, but I imagine you couldn't walk around barefoot).

A lot of people refuse to allow guests into certain chambers of their house. Keeping guests out of private bedrooms or an upstairs floor or office seems reasonable, but one interviewee remembers being told to avoid the kitchen, the very heart of any hospitable establishment. I mean, kitchens are major. I feel like whenever I end up in a friend's kitchen, I usually get offered some kind of cookies or brownies (thanks! by the way). Maybe cookies are the host's way of saying, "listen, you can't go upstairs with your shoes on, but by God, you can have something to eat!" It's one bright spot of hope in a society of suffering, greed and sorrow I suppose. But I think I'll hold off on asking for a glass of milk.