FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR

I got one of these today! I don't even know what happened. I was just trying to check my email, when my computer suddenly had a FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR. This has to be just about the worst thing that can happen to a computer short of the Blue Screen of Death. At least with that, you can just pull the plug on the whole computer. But the FATAL EXCEPTION ERROR is a more cerebral problem, more akin to problem solvers and quick thinkers. This is what I told myself, at least.

Let's just look at this. Break it down. Clearly, this problem is going to cost someone or something his or her or its life. It's fatal. However, it's not a common occurance. It's an exception. That should put things in perspective a little bit. "Hey! What can we do? This sort of thing doesn't happen very often anyways!" But the joy is temporary--this is something that has gone wrong--an ERROR! So there we have it: a rare life-ending disaster. All because of your computer.

So I did what any cerebal problem solver would do and promptly clicked the mouse somewhere over the "OK" button. What else are you supposed to click? "I'll think about it" isn't an option in this do or die situation. After clicking OK I was greeted by another set of options to correct the problem. "ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?"

I like options. I really do. I just don't like these particular options. Aborting a computer problem is for quitters. Retry? No! I'm not going to make this problem happen again! Failure is not an option.

Ten minutes later I returned to my room to look at the computer. It's black screen stared right back at me, lifeless since I pulled the plug on it moments before. Machines will never conquer mankind as long as there's a plug to pull. At least, that's what I told myself.