Friday, September 19, 2008

Big Gay California Weddings

Gay marriage is now legal in California, but it's not without it's difficulties:

"The California Supreme Court has affirmed my right to a wedding registry at Neiman Marcus, but it feels a bit like an unfunded mandate. How can I plan a day worthy of memorializing in oil paint before the November election? Where is my gay reparations check to help me afford a stylist, a calligrapher, an artisinal cheesemaker, three albino virgins with a harp, a glitter-and-rainbow machine, a team of midget aerialists on wires to simulate Baroque puti, a Valentino gown for my mother-in-law, a liposcuptor and a phalanx of angry queens with clipboards and headsets shouting at their minions, "Damnit, Bruce, I said 'CUE THE CHAMPAGNE FOUNTAIN!' The champagne fountain was supposed to begin bubbling BEFORE the albinos started Canon in D!""