Friday, April 18, 2008

The Scream Dream Team

Now suppose you find yourself in the all-to-common situation of having to assemble an all-star team of screamers (and we're talking blood-curdling, ear-piercing skull reverberations here). Who do you choose?

My starting five for the Scream Dream Team:

1) Jamie Lee Curtis
Easy. Her performance in the 1978 horror film Halloween earned her the nickname, "The Scream Queen." What's a Scream Dream Team without the Scream Queen being seen .... een. Sorry, wasn't sure how to end that sentence.

2) Macaulay Culkin
When the first image that comes to mind of this kid (creepy guy now) is screaming with hands firmly on cheeks, you know you have a solid vocal chord virtuoso that can belt one out with the best of them. Macaulay Culkin, as Kevin McCallister in the 1990 film Home Alone, defined the scream for a younger generation, adding an essential visual component of wide-eyed gaping shock and horror. And this was only aftershave he applied to his face! Imagine his scream if he saw Dracula or Freddy Krueger or Michael Jackson? Actually, he did see Michael Jackson. The horror.

3) Maria Sharapova
Her loudest grunt on the tennis court measured an ear-drum perforating 101.2 decibels. For those of you requiring some context, 100 decibels is how loud the average car stereo is at maximum volume. Welcome to the team, Maria. Welcome to the team.

4) Fay Wray
The actress who played Ann Darrow in the original King Kong inspired a contest to see who most closely matches her famous scream. Can there ever be a real winner?

5) The Scream
The painting by Edvard Munch. Variety, spice, terror. The opposing scream team would never expect a visual knockout blow like this! Not bad for oil, tempera and pastel on cardboard (seriously, it was on cardboard).