Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Embattled Editor Continues Posting Slump - Drinks Coke

Alright, this is getting ridiculous. One week after I said my sabbatical was over, I somehow managed to extend it. It all ends today.

In 1985, Coca-Cola faced lagging sales and a fierce challenge from rival Pepsi. After research and shooting the breeze in the board room, Coca-Cola decided to revamp its storied formula into...well...something a lot like Pepsi. "New Coke" rolled out and promptly alienated consumers who no longer found spiritual fulfillment from their chosen Cola. New Coke was a flop and that's why, even to this day, you will see the word "classic" appended to the Coca-Cola title on every can or bottle.

What if this had happened to something else? Like Pine-Sol. New Pine-Sol! "I don't know how I feel about it. It tastes too sweet." Or New Pez. "Hmmm, they don't fit in the dispensers as well and they taste too sweet." New New York. "It smacks of Futurama and tastes too sweet."

For several years after the switch back to Coca-Cola "Classic," New Coke still existed on the shelves until the late 90s in some areas as "Coke II." I'm not sure, but based on my own preliminary polling data, I don't think sequels are ever a good idea with food or drink. Or pets.