Burger King Bag Bagglers

Burger King is getting a little too smart for me. I was walking back to my dorm after stopping at the fine dining institution to get some food to go, when I noticed that the bag had a box of text on it. It read:

OFFICIAL Baggler Procedure

French fries that have attempted to escape from their container only to strand themselves in the bottom of the bag are called "bagglers." Bagglers are fair game. The first to open the bag and retrieve the baggler gets to eat the baggler. Therefore, it is in one's best interest to be the keeper of the bag.

Burger King has been on this kick lately. They celebrate the finer idiosyncrasies of fast food dining to presumably remind you of all of those little nostalgiac feelings you get when you venture into the grease pit. For example, I'll never forget the rush of excitement I got when I spilled ranch dressing all over my pants at the airport McDonalds while eating my chicken McNuggets last month. This is called a "ranch spill" and it is not fair game. It is unfair game. It made me look like an idiot drying my pants off with that airport automated dryer. Therefore, it is in one's best interest to not get dips and sauces in little plastic containers that are prone to spontaneous rupture or spillage.

I think the Burger King executive meeting must have went something like this:
"Hey, Bill! Did you think of a new text box for the bag yet?"
"Yeah, you know those fries that fall out in the bag?"
"No, I don't actually EAT at our restaurants!" *mixed laughter from around the room*
"Well, I heard that it happens. We should call them bagglers."
-Silence-
"Uh.....ok, maybe not bagglers....fallen fries?"
"Bagglers. I like that. It's funny. It tickles me. Meeting adjourned."

I think they just like saying "baggler." They should go the Starbucks route and slap some interesting/controversial quotes on cups as conversation starters instead of informing you of the rules and traditions of fast food dining. Imagine this, you sit down with your BK Double Whopper with Bacon and see this on your cup: "Mad cow disease is a myth perpetuated by KFC and Long John Silver. Discuss."

On second thought, I'll take bagglers.