Vatican to World: It's Tradition, Not Prada

The Vatican is jabbing back at papers and magazines that have speculated about the Pope's flamboyant fashion statements over the past few years. Red leather shoes and a brimmed hat dubbed "the Saturn" have led some to speculate that the old pontiff was wearing duds forged by major fashion houses like Prada or Gucci or Forever 21 or whatever.

But neigh! Apparently, Popes have always been dressing this way. The Pope wears funny red hats because the Popes of old have worn funny red hats and that's just the way it is. Tradition: the beginning and end of all reasons.