Caught on the Bound

Planet in Peril

2008-12-10T23:08:00.001-05:00

Alternatively, could be titled "Anderson Cooper makes stoic faces at various problems"

Dumbledore vs. The Establishment

2008-11-13T22:43:00.000-05:00

Game respect game.

Sacrifice

2008-11-11T19:33:00.003-05:00

Nothing screams "economic crisis" like a bunch of politicians going on cruises!

"Liberals also organize political cruises. Last year, The Nation magazine organized an Alaska trip where subscribers rubbed shoulders with left-leaning figures such as actor Richard Dreyfuss."

Rephrased: Liberals are also capable of having fun. Last year, The Nation magazine sent them to Alaska to avoid having too much fun. Richard Dreyfuss is a flaming liberal Marxist tree-hugger.

Post-Election Reboot

2008-11-09T23:23:00.002-05:00

Depending on what you think, we may or may not have our country back. I tend to think we do. Naturally, this calls for governor's mansion shenanigans:

"Schwarzenegger said his wife has been “gloating now for these last few days” and running around the house with a life-size cutout of Obama saying, “We won.”"

I have several questions:

1) Where did Maria Shriver get a life-size cutout of Obama?

2) What purpose does it serve in the house?

I suppose she could have been keeping the cardboard Obama in a hall closet for the last few months, secretly checking in on it and whispering "Soon, my precious....soon...."

Where I Been

2008-10-24T23:51:00.002-04:00

John writes in the comments: "Where have been the updates, man?"

Well, all you had to do was ask!

Sorry, everyone. I've been busy since moving to New York. It's crazy. I know people say that about a lot of things these days and I almost regret invoking the word to describe something that is actually quite ordinary for millions of people; but it hardly seems worth the effort after writing so many words after it. I don't even know where this paragraph went.

I'm endorsing Barack Obama. Why? Because I am brainwashed by his celebrity. No other reason.

McCain gets desperate and hires three different directors to make ads for him. The Wes Anderson one is my favorite:

Transporting a Dozen Eggs

2008-10-08T19:31:00.001-04:00

My graph made it on to GraphJam:

more song chart memes

September Madness

2008-10-01T20:44:00.001-04:00

Get your bracket now! I had Goldman Sachs, the Federal Reserve, The Queen of England and Barack Obama in the Final Four.

Biden, Palin's Accent to Face Off in Debate

2008-09-30T21:52:00.002-04:00

The VP debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden is this Thursday on ~~ESPN~~ television and there seems to be a healthy fixation on the Governor's don't cha know-ish accent.

"Palin ... makes people’s ears prick up. “‘Oh,’ they think, ‘she sounds like us, she sounds like me, she understands me.’”"

Only if you live in Fargo, I assume? I actually like the accent, but I've never heard it out west anywhere. Anyone else have first-hand experience? Is this a common accent for Alaska or the Pacific northwest in general?

Most Incoherent Article, Like, Ever

2008-09-30T19:01:00.002-04:00

A former Tour de France director levels devastating charges against Lance Armstrong like "Why are you coming back?" and "People will whisper about doping." and "You use dark magic to bulge out your calves right? I knew it."

If anything, Armstrong raised the profile of cycling all over the world and inspired thousands of others to give it a try (not to mention the hope he gave other cancer survivors). I was one of the quickest to defend France during the heady days of Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast, but this strikes me as a little too...well, French. Be glad that the American media and consumers are paying attention to your unique national event!

Also, it was fun when they started it in London a few years ago because in all of the pictures of people watching from the street, there was always a guy in the background walking back from the store, completely unaware of what was happening, with a facial expression that conveyed something like, "Tour de Whaaaaaaaat?"

The Pretender

2008-09-29T23:02:00.002-04:00

One of the best things about YouTube? The covers. Some of them really stand out. I liked this cover of Jackson Browne's "The Pretender":

Jimmy Kimmel on Palin

2008-09-29T20:07:00.000-04:00

"John McCain showed up without running mate Sarah Palin, which is a shame because she actually has a lot of experience with financial matters. You know, she lives right next to a bank."

Colbert-Spiderman

2008-09-29T19:59:00.002-04:00

Stephen Colbert will be teaming up with Spiderman:

“Well, it’s kind of a team-up,” laughed comic book scribe Mark Waid, who wrote the eight-page story that will appear in Amazing Spider-Man #573. “Let’s put it this way: Stephen Colbert thinks it’s a team-up. Spider-Man keeps telling him it’s not a team-up.

I can only assume DC Comics will strike back with a Jerry Seinfeld-Superman combo.

We Have A Meme!

2008-09-29T19:21:00.002-04:00

Brian takes similar delight in UCLA's new #12 ranking in the polls after that tussle with Fresno State.

My Monies Asplode!

2008-09-29T19:08:00.003-04:00

Or whatever it was the headlines said today about Wall Street.

Notre Dame Beats Purdue, Ranked #9 in Poll

2008-09-28T21:12:00.002-04:00

For Best College Food, that is. Reasons we aren't ranked higher, based on personal experience:

1. Seafood Salad
2. Lobster Quesadillas
3. Spicy Sea Nuggets.

Oh, Heather! How You Toy With Us!

2008-09-28T21:05:00.001-04:00

Heather Locklear gets arrested for suspected DUI in Santa Barbara.

Racist Poll on Racism

2008-09-20T09:11:00.002-04:00

I don't get it. A survey was conducted to determine how blacks are perceived by whites. Using a framework of "How well does each of these words describe blacks?", the survey throws out words like "hardworking" and "friendly."

How do they get away with this? They're asking people to make a sweeping judgment about an entire population of diverse individuals. I understand that it's trying to measure bias or prejudice, but isn't this survey inherently so?

Would you describe all whites as "hardworking" or "lazy"? Of course not - everyone is going to be different and the variety is overwhelming. How is this premise even valid? Am I overreacting?

Love and Badminton

2008-09-20T00:21:00.002-04:00

My brother is Bachelor of the Month at the University of San Francisco.

"SFF: How would your friends describe you if they could only use five words? You can brag, go ahead.
KC: Too hella fly to handle.
SFF: I meant five different adjectives, but that’s so crazy I’ll accept it."

Big Gay California Weddings

2008-09-19T20:45:00.001-04:00

Gay marriage is now legal in California, but it's not without it's difficulties:

"The California Supreme Court has affirmed my right to a wedding registry at Neiman Marcus, but it feels a bit like an unfunded mandate. How can I plan a day worthy of memorializing in oil paint before the November election? Where is my gay reparations check to help me afford a stylist, a calligrapher, an artisinal cheesemaker, three albino virgins with a harp, a glitter-and-rainbow machine, a team of midget aerialists on wires to simulate Baroque puti, a Valentino gown for my mother-in-law, a liposcuptor and a phalanx of angry queens with clipboards and headsets shouting at their minions, "Damnit, Bruce, I said 'CUE THE CHAMPAGNE FOUNTAIN!' The champagne fountain was supposed to begin bubbling BEFORE the albinos started Canon in D!""

Rats

2008-09-14T23:07:00.003-04:00

At risk of betraying my New York greenness, I just wanted to let you know that I saw a rat jump two feet in the air on the subway tracks this evening. The whole idea of Master Splinter teaching turtles to be ninjas seems all the more plausible now. Good night, and good luck.

Forde: How Can I Make This ND Win A Bad Thing?

2008-09-14T10:48:00.002-04:00

College football is underway. I suppose I should have been blogging more about it, but I decided to actually watch football instead.

Nice win for the Irish yesterday over Michigan. I'm not sure what it says about the team, but they were certainly helped a great deal by six Wolverine turnovers.

Pat Forde has a column up on ESPN. The gist: Notre Dame's win was no sign of a resurrection or impending national championship.

Well, who was ever making such a claim? Most ND fans seem to be hoping for an 8-4/9-3 season - a fairly realistic and grounded ambition if you ask me. It's telling that a column is immediately out there debunking Irish greatness after a nice win under any circumstances.

"Respect will have to be earned, and it will take more than Notre Dame showed in this game for that to happen."

Well, yeah. But that doesn't mean a win isn't a win. This column appears to be written in response to a statement that was never made. He could have at least saved it for some occasion like Notre Dame getting a flukey 7-3 win over a USC or something.

Lance Coming Out of Retirement

2008-09-09T18:00:00.001-04:00

Armstrong pulls a Jordan.

Somewhere in Middle America - One Vote in a Red State

2008-09-09T17:50:00.002-04:00

Obama is aiming to pick off one of Nebraska's electoral votes - Omaha's. As a native Nebraskan, I'm glad to see Nebraska's quirk of the electoral system given some attention (Maine is the other state that splits it's electoral votes by Congressional district).

It goes without saying, of course, that one electoral vote could make a difference; especially with how tight the polls are at the moment.

Final score: Obama 270 McCain 268?? How pissed would the rest of Red Nebraska (politically, of course, because everyone is Football Red) if Omaha, the home of ConAgra, Berkshire Hathaway and Marlon Brando, cost them a McCain presidency? If the Cornhuskers are undefeated at that point, it won't matter.

The Dreaded Mask of Internet Anonymity

2008-09-07T23:42:00.001-04:00

Esquire dishes on blog commentors, featuring Professor of Communications Paul Levinson and comedian Mike Birbiglia.

Commute

2008-09-07T18:30:00.001-04:00

From Wikipedia:

"The word 'commuter' was originally used for travellers paying a reduced or 'commuted' fare for an advance-purchase rail season ticket valid for a fixed number of days, weeks, or months. Such tickets usually allow the traveller to repeat the same journey as often as they like during the period of validity: usually, the longer the period, the cheaper the cost per day."

I did not know that. Note how I accept Wikipedia without question.